Monday, July 4, 2016

What I've Learned From Not Dating: Part 2

In April I wrote this post, called "What I've Learned From Not Dating". It was one of my favorite posts I've ever written, because it was truthful, honest, and straight-from-the-heart. I love talking about singleness, relationships, and dating, so I decided to continue that first post, with a Part 2! So readers- grab your coffee cups, and let's chat!

I'm a single pringle. There, I've said it- it's out there. I'm 19, and I have never been in a long-term relationship. Maybe that makes me weird- I could really care less. I never ever set out with the intention of never dating by this point, but somehow, it just happened. I really believe that this was in the cards for me all along, and that's it's part of God's plan for my life. I know that my Mr. Right will come along, and when he does, the wait will have been well worth it. Just because I haven't dated, doesn't mean I don't have experience with guys. Here's what I've learned from NOT dating:

You don't need a relationship to validate you. If you think that you do, then I advise you step back, and take a look at the big picture. My heart goes out to the people that think they need a relationship to give them value or to make them feel secure or confident. A relationship cannot give you those things. It should add to your life. It should complement you as a person. It should challenge you and encourage you, but it shouldn't define you.

Don't date the first person that comes along, just because you're lonely. I know, it's exciting and fun when a new person comes along. They'll charm you and make you feel special. It feels good to have someone to text and go to lunch with and study with. These are not reasons to date someone though. Even I have fallen prey to these types of situations. When someone comes along that is interested in you, take the time to really look at them, see if they match up to what you are looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend. Make sure you're really interested in them as a person, and not just interested in the attention they're giving you.

DO NOT fall into the horrors of a "Snapchat fling". You know exactly what I'm talking about. That cute person adds you on Snapchat and starts sending you snaps about their day. Maybe they get a little flirty or add some smiley face emojis. They snap you constantly, and sometimes you'll even chat on there. Of course, your snaps and messages disappear, so there's no real proof of the relationship. Eventually it fizzles out, or you finally hang out in person, and realize they're nothing like they seem over pictures and messages. I can't stand these types of things. If a guy is interested in me, then he needs to step up and ask to hang out with me. I'm not looking for a guy that can sit behind his phone screen and send me sweet nothings. I'm looking for a guy that wants to go get coffee, go on a hike, or watch a movie.

We are all still in high school. No matter how old we get, when it comes to relationships and dating, we all still feel like highschoolers. Our heart races, we get nervous, we get tongue-tied, we get embarrassed. We make awkward eye contact and then quickly look away. Our friends know about it and they tease us and make it so obvious. My point is- no matter how old we get, we all still feel the same things, and that's okay.

And most importantly remember that we are all searching for the same thing. Each of us is just looking for that one magical person. That best friend that we can fall madly in love with and go on adventures with and experience life with. We all want our fairytale ending. We all want our happily ever after. So let's remember that when we go out into the world of relationships. Encourage others, be respectful of others, and kill'em with kindness, because you never know who you'll end up with.

xoxo, em

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