Thursday, April 7, 2016

Don't Apologize

Don't ever apologize for being yourself. Just don't. Because you can't apologize for staying true to who you are. I was thinking about this today. Growing up, in my early teen years, I went through a time when I was trying to find my identity and who I was as a person. Honestly, I have trouble recognizing myself back then, because I was just so different from who I am now. Not in a bad way... just in a different way. One thing that stuck out to me when I was thinking back, was how much of a people pleaser I was. I still have bits of that in me, but it's different. Now I'm more of a peacemaker. I don't like conflict, I don't like people to get upset, so I always try to make people happy. However, I'm not a people pleaser now. I used to always want people to like me. I think that's pretty normal for middle schoolers, and the like. I was always quick to say sorry, even for things that weren't my fault. I remember doing this on several occasions and people would say something like, "You know you don't have to say sorry right?" It was just a reflex for me, it was natural. Gosh, just thinking back, I cringe a little. I was so shy, so awkward, and yes, a little insecure. I don't think I would change anything though, because through my struggles, I found myself, and I'm so happy with who I am now. The point of all this rambling, is this- you can't apologize for being yourself. I refuse to. I don't need people to like me. That's one thing that college has proven to me. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to be on your side. I won't apologize for my faith, for my political views, for my diet choices, or for my college choices. I won't apologize for being honest and strong in who I am. I have a heart full of compassion, especially for people that are hurting, but my freshman year has shown me that I also have to protect my heart. My kindness and my ability to quickly forgive is an asset, but I won't allow people to walk all over me, or take advantage of me because of that. I don't have anything particular on my heart tonight, but I was just thinking about some things, and decided to spill it out into words. I've been blogging for years now, but now a days it means an entirely different thing to me than when I started. I don't write these posts because I want people to read them. In fact, just thinking about people still reading my posts is a little odd. I write because it's my emotional and creative outlet. At the end of a long day, or a week when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, there is nothing better to me than pouring it all out into words.
If you read all the way through this- thank you. Thank you for listening, and hopefully this left you thinking.

xoxo, em

No comments:

Post a Comment