Decided to just pour out my heart tonight and write about the honest truths that I was feeling. As girls... as human beings, we deal with the struggle of perfection. We're so quick to put up the walls and masks though, and not really talk about our issues. I'm definitely quick to do this. I've always been a more private person, so I do this unintentionally. I remember on so many occasions in high school having people come up to me, some of which I didn't even know very well, and saying how I always seemed to have it all together, and I really seemed to have the white picket fence life. I laughed the first couple times I heard this, because if those people had only known. I was happy, but my life was far from perfect. Just like anyone else, I dealt with insecurities, disappointment, loss, loneliness, and heartbreak. I loved being who I was, but I never viewed myself like others did.
Fast forward to my freshman year of college. I've dealt with so much in the last five years, sometimes it makes my head spin. Looking at this from a self-image perspective, I could definitely share some truths. I'm a lover of fitness and leading a healthy lifestyle, and I love that. In the last year though I've.... well okay I've gained a few #'s, some curves, and my clothes fit differently. That's been a difficult adjustment, and for a while I was not very happy about it. However I've truly come to a place of realization. I've realized I've been waiting for things to change. I've been fighting my body and trying to be someone that I'm not. I love myself and accept myself, flaws and all, and that is the biggest relief in the world. It's such a simple realization. Realizing that Jesus loves me for me. He cares about my heart, not what I look like. That's not to say that I don't still love makeup and clothes, or focus on leading a healthier lifestyle, but it just refocuses my heart on the things that are truly important.
I'm happy being my perfectly imperfect me. Maybe I have a few extra pounds, maybe I have acne sometimes, maybe I don't always like how I look in pictures, and maybe I have really bad hair days. Maybe I'm really shy, maybe I don't know how to talk to guys, maybe I skip workouts sometimes, and maybe I'm not good at math. I accept myself, imperfections and all, and I want that for every other person, because I personally know how exhausting the battle of perfection is.
If you're struggling like I was, I just want to encourage you to stop right now and just give it all up to the Lord. Give up your insecurities, your fears, your frustrations, and just breathe.