I promised myself that I would start blogging again, and I didn't. Each day it sat on my to do list, waiting to be crossed off. And each day that passed I felt like a failure for not being able to write one simple, little blog post. In the midst of all the craziness of senior year, I was beating myself up over not blogging. Sounds crazy right? I've been learning lots about myself this school semester though. Like how I'm most definitely more of an introvert, how I can get majorly stressed about homework, how I'm way too hard on myself over things that don't really matter, and how sometimes I just need to let things go. Then tonight I sat down for a little bit of alone time, and ended up watching Moms Night Out for the first time. There I was, curled up at the foot of my bed with my laptop, two cats, and yes, some candy. I sat there, laughing hysterically at all of the funny parts, and it was like the fresh, cool breeze that I needed in my life. Yes, I know the movie was geared for Mom's, but I got something out of it too. It was like it was telling me that in the midst of the craziness of life, the stress of senior year, the disappointments, and feeling like you're never enough, it reminded me to come as I am. It reminded me to let go of the things I can't control. It reminded me that things will never be perfect, and the harder I try to make things that way, the less happy I will be. Most importantly it reminded me of Jesus's amazing love for me, just as I am, and how his plan is bigger and greater than anything I could ever imagine.
I'm not going to make lofty promises or write up a plan of what I'm going to do, but I am going to do this..
I'm going to smile more- because why not?
I'm going to let go of the things I can't control- like sickness, my future, or what other people do.
I'm going to stop worrying- about what people think of me, about what I'm going to do with my life, or about having it together.
I love my life right now. Despite the craziness and the business of senior year, I'm loving and cherishing these moments, because I know they won't last forever.
Doing this. Writing and pouring my heart out, feels so nice. Maybe I'll do this a little more often. Like an end of the day wrap up. I'm stopping with the expectations and the promises to blog. If it happens, it happens, and if not that's okay.
This blog post didn't have much of a point. It was just a moment to write what was on my mind.
So here's my takeaway-
1) Watch Moms Night Out- If you haven't seen it already then
2) Love the life you have, instead of wishing for the life that you think will make you happy. Take joy in the little things. Laugh more. Sing loudly in the car. Dance often. Love lots.